Updated on February 10, 2025
Why Trauma Makes It Hard to Trust Yourself
Self-trust allows us to feel confident in our decisions, set boundaries, and navigate life autonomously. But when trauma occurs—whether from childhood experiences, abusive relationships, or a sudden, life-altering event—it can shatter that trust.
Many trauma survivors struggle to believe in themselves, questioning their instincts, choices, and even their own reality. If this sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone. Trauma makes you doubt yourself, but with time and intentional healing, you can rebuild self-trust and regain a sense of inner strength.
How Trauma Erodes Self-Trust
Understanding why trauma disrupts self-trust is the first step toward rebuilding it.
Loss of Safety and Control
Trauma disrupts your sense of safety and predictability, making the world—and even your own mind—feel unreliable. You may start second-guessing your instincts, unsure if they will keep you safe or lead you into danger.
Guilt and Self-Blame
A painful but common response to trauma is self-blame. You might think I should have known better or I should have done something differently. These thoughts erode self-trust, making it difficult to rely on your judgment moving forward.
Dysregulated Nervous System
Trauma affects the nervous system, sometimes keeping it stuck in states of hypervigilance (constantly on edge) or dissociation (feeling disconnected or numb). When your body operates in survival mode, it’s hard to distinguish between intuition and fear-driven reactions.
Conditioned Distrust
If you grew up in an environment where your feelings were dismissed, manipulated, or ignored, you may have learned that your perceptions couldn’t be trusted. Gaslighting, emotional abuse, or neglect can reinforce the belief that your thoughts and feelings aren’t valid.
Challenges in Rebuilding Self-Trust
Rebuilding trust in yourself after trauma isn’t as simple as flipping a switch. Many survivors struggle with:
- Fear of making mistakes – Second-guessing decisions, big or small
- Perfectionism – Feeling like any wrong choice will have significant consequences
- Paralysis – Feeling stuck in inaction, afraid of getting it wrong
The good news is that self-trust isn’t something you have or don’t have. It’s a skill that can be rebuilt step by step.
How to Rebuild Self-Trust After Trauma
Acknowledge and Validate Your Experience
Healing begins with recognizing what happened and how it affected you. Trauma often makes people doubt their experiences, but naming and validating your feelings is essential.
Ways to do this:
- Journal about your experiences and emotions
- Talk to a trusted therapist or friend
- Remind yourself: I’m not overreacting. What happened to me mattered
Reconnect with Your Body
Trauma can create a disconnect between the mind and body. Rebuilding trust means learning to listen to your body’s signals again.
Ways to reconnect:
- Breathwork or somatic therapy – Helps calm the nervous system and build awareness
- Gentle movement – Yoga, walking, or stretching can help restore a sense of safety in your body
- Body scanning – Regularly check in: How do I feel right now?
Start Small with Decisions
One of the best ways to rebuild self-trust is by proving to yourself that you can make choices. Start with small, low-pressure decisions and follow through.
Try this:
- Pick a restaurant without overanalyzing
- Choose what to wear based on your first instinct
- Say “yes” or “no” to something without justifying it
Every small decision reinforces the idea that you can make choices and handle the outcome.
Challenge Negative Self-Talk
The voice of self-doubt might sound like:
- I always make bad decisions
- I can’t trust myself
- What if I mess this up?
Try replacing these thoughts with affirmations:
- I am learning to trust myself again
- I don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of trust
- It’s okay to make mistakes while I heal
Being kind to yourself in this process is crucial.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People
Healing self-trust doesn’t happen in isolation. Safe, supportive relationships help reinforce your ability to trust your emotions and experiences.
Seek out:
- Friends or loved ones who respect your feelings and choices
- Trauma-informed therapy to help process past experiences
- Support groups where others understand what you’re going through
Rewrite Your Story
Trauma can leave you with a story of powerlessness. Healing self-trust involves rewriting that narrative to reflect your resilience.
Reflect on these questions:
- What strengths did I develop because of what I went through?
- What would I say to a friend who blamed themselves for the same experience?
Therapies like EMDR and narrative therapy can be beneficial in shifting these perspectives.
Seek Professional Support
Rebuilding self-trust is hard work; you don’t have to do it alone. Therapy provides a safe space to process trauma, challenge negative beliefs, and develop confidence in yourself again.
If you’re looking for a therapist who understands the impact of trauma and self-trust, contact Firefly Therapy Austin to get matched with a counselor who can help.
The Power of Self-Trust
Rebuilding self-trust isn’t just about making decisions—it’s about reclaiming your voice, confidence, and sense of self.
Every small step you take brings you closer to feeling grounded in who you are. No matter how deeply trauma has shaken you, healing is possible. You are not defined by what happened to you but by how you choose to move forward.
You can learn to trust yourself again with time, patience, and support.